had my plant design test today....total disaster......almost all leave blanks.....zzz gonna fail liao... den mi joan arens zhiming waiyew wilfred ames n rueyming went to watch 'over the hedge'.... haha....lame but nice....esp the part when the time ran so fast tt it seems to stop....super lame.... haiz if onli i can stop time 4 a moment....things wldnt b the same again....zzz.....

hav been feelin the stress 4 the past few days liao....so many things to do n all cramp in a short amount of time....den i felt im gettin lazy....i dun wan tt....but its a major part of my life....haiz....wat mus i do in order 4 mi nt to b lazy....determination seems to b my weakness....zzz....hw can i change....i wanted to but i cant....haiz....

haven been updating in a while...acty oso nth much to say la acty....but here i am during plant design lesson....seriously didnt catch anything tt the lecturer sae....den later still gt test later...zzz...dunno hw to study sia...den hav chem react test on fri...haiz....oh well....@ least tis is the last wk b4 the e-learning....which oso means the holidays!!! phew.....dunno y it seems tt my yr 2 is acty much worse den my last yr....haiz...anyways....so much things happened yest....told her a lotta stuffs....den yest online told her sumthin...but dunno y...sumhw nv felt anything....any weirdness...or any sadness....rather...felt....relieved u can say....

hmmm...shall end here....meeting her tml....today's gonna b another long n tiring day...haiz....

woooOO!!!!! went out to watch x men 3 today....bought the tickets 4 4 pm show....watching wif my sis....but b4 tt went to west mall to c my sis dance....sia la nt bad la....den surprise....her bf came back early frm china....haha....she so ecstatic lor...lol...den went town to watch movie but didnt no her bf gt cum so my sis n i go watch lor....den her bf go arcade.....

wha the movie i can sae is superb man....realli worth the wait of 3 yrs....den woot....saw tv saying x men 2 will b on channel 5 on the 11th of june....whahaha.....X MEN ROX.....

den went fish n co to eat....haha....tot i might c june work there....but in the end didnt...zzz....but nevertheless....had a seafood platter 4 2 n sharkie freeze....haha 1st time had seafood platter....n we manage to finish it....den my sis n her bf went off sumwhere while i go cine to buy food 4 my young sis @ home...

phew....if u call mi to watch x men 3 again....i wld gladly to haha....ok off i go nw...sis usin com....

haiz....finally can blog liao....aft 4 long freaking days....these past 4 days hav been tryin to blog....but my sis la....always snatch com....sianz....but nvm....here i am nw....hope my STM wont fail mi to help mi rmb wat happen 4 the past few days....

mon to wed is as per norm.....

thur....as usual poly 50 in the evening....but tis time less ppl....onli 13....so they decided to either run 13 rounds on the outer track....or 10 rounds of the inner track....chosen the latter....den aft tt peikun suggested tt aft every lap do 10 pushups....sia la....aft the run n pushups.....super kua....den still do frog jumps....knee raise....leg stretch.....15 pull ups....n power training....cmi liao...jus collapse....haha....den as usual went clementi eat lor....

fri....which is today....lesson as per norm....found sum1 i can talk to....had a great chat...den aft tt sum of us went to town to hang out....ok lor....jus sianz....like nobody to talk to...den jus walk ard...den suddenly my leg feel painful....mus b frm the poly 50 training yest....haiz....didnt wan tt to happen oso....but dunno y it did....lol.....

dunno wats wrong today....everybody ard mi frm morn till night seems to b on a screw loose....wif attitude prob or sumthin....talk to them machiam like talkin to a beast who is ready to explode....nt tt i wanna bear grudges....but cant anybody c tt i wanna TALK....n nt shout? hilo....u no mi....i dun shout @ ppl 4 no reason....cos i dun find the nd to....so take it ez ppl....

luckily....hav her to talk to....realli ud mi well...thanx 4 bein there wif mi....haiz....if onli the ppl ard mi can ud like u do....tt wld b nice bahs....

well off to rest liao....whole body aching....hope to recover by mon....zZz....

updates 4 the past 2 days....

sat....went to c ms peh in the aftnn....haiz....her caretaker told us she is dying....jus onli time prevents her to....she oso said she wanted to go....but her doctor dun allow...haiz....nw its even more painful to c her rather den the other way ard.....den aft tt went to hang out @ ps....went to eat ljs.....AGAIN!!! 3rd time in 4 days sia....sianz....den went arcade @ dhoby ghaut stn....sia la...saw tis guy playin 'house of the dead 4' by the initials of HZH....super pro sia....calm yet accurate....i sit there watch him play i super stun sia....622830 is the final score 4 him....wha lao aye n all top 5 is his score.....every ard him all stun n applauded n shook his hands sia...lol....i was 1 of them.....>.<.....den went walk ard n play pool n went home....

sun...woke up super early to go 4 big walk....haha during the walk had fun....cos we r singing all the cheers all the time...den 4 like 3-4km....we r playing 'wheres my peanuts' sia la until the last part alreadi veri tired liao....sianz....but the girls still wan to continue seh....haha but nevertheless fun...den went to makan @ marina sq...but sianz...on the way to mrt lor hor....super drenched sia even tho gt umbrella.... when reached ms...air con super freakin cold....den pants n shoes wet so uncomfy....so went ard shop n eat...den went home....

back to sch tml as usual...sianz realli dun anticipate tml...gt test results 4 thermody cumin up den aft tt still gt poly 50 selection...wha sianz sia....luckily the day aft dun nd to wake up so early...haha....ok off to my slp liao....zZz......

haven been updating recently....so many things goin on 4 these past few days....shall talk bout sum...

thur.....regular poly 50 but tis time didnt expect the 5km run to b so tiring....den aft still 4 x 20om sprint....super tiring....the power training even worse...push up oso struggle....lol....aft tt went back club....stun....mc all nv bring club key....den stuck outside....den siewling sae learn frm my class wilfred tt he can picklock....so she tried....in the end bout 20 mins....choon long managed to unlock it....weee.....den all went clementi eat....

wed is same as fri....go jp eat long john silvers den go play arcade....lol regular basis....so addicted to playing 'street basketball' haha....i tink on wed is nasir n jasmine best seh....den jus nw is mi n him scoring 406 pts...lol....talkin bout which....nasir super pro lor....1 person score 366 pts lor....pro sia....haha....aft tt went home...

c-ing ms peh tml....haiz....hopes shes alrite....aft tt watching movie wif sum ppl....dunno who will go oso lol....shall update soon....

jus received news frm my fren tt my tchr is suffering nw....n has onli 2-6 wks left to live....

haiz.....hearing tt realli devastated mi....nw realli dun hav the mood to study or do anything nw... wat im i gonna do nw? realli wanted to visit her....but guess dun hav the time to....the onli free time will b sunday or nxt tue...haiz....jus hope tt time can shift back or stop....to delay the process....i realli dun wan her to go.....

1st blog to hav a title....dunno y...mayb jus wanna put it tts all....recently here tis song....old but veri nice....meaningful....realli describe my life.....can sae....recently bahs.....

tis entry's gonna b a long 1...so if u can bear wif it.....read on.....

i'll start wif sat night....went to watch soccer wif dad @ kopi shop....haha....super enthu sia all those uncle...everytime goal oso excited....haha....

sunday....went out wif family to cele mother's day....haven realli had a meal together as a family 4 quite a while alreadi....all so bz wif their own stuff....but nevertheless....it was nice....

den today....so tired....nv realli concentrating....mayb cos of wat happen yest.....when i wrote tis entry in my 'diary'....supposedly an entry tt i wanna key in yest but sis usin com...so hav to delay till nw....tis is wat i wrote....

'saw her blog today....happen to saw a reply frm her fren sayin 'what matters the most is how well you live, how well you you forgive and how well you LEARN TO LET GO.' haiz....tinkin bout it....n makin a self-reflection on my own....i guess she's right.....i mus learn to take it in stride....learn when to let it go.....but its veri hard 4 mi.....

4 the past few wks....i hav been wantin to c her so desperately....cumin to tink of it....mayb i AM desperate....but cant anybody c it in another way.....nt tt i am desperate....but jus needed sum1 tt i can REALLI talk to....n share my woes wif.....i no myself.....tt @ sumtime....i am irritatin n oversensitive...but y cant anybody accept mi 4 who i am? I c every1 ard mi....accepting their flaws of the other person....but y nt mi? am i realli the kinda person tt ppl will try to shove off? isnt there any1 out there who can accept mi 4 who i am? Oh well....mayb i guess i hav to let Fate decide my destiny bahs.....'

c-ing tis entry 4 the 2nd time realli makes mi ud who i realli am....n hw im presented to every1 ard mi....ppl may grew to like mi 4 who i am...but i guess mos of the time they wld b otherwise... mayb tts y i am alone mos of the time....even tho im wif a bunch of frens....i can still rmb tt i came into a poly.....wantin to find a new life.....nv did i expect tt everythin frm sec sch life came rushing back to mi....hw can i ever get out of tis cycle? will tis ever end.....i sure hope it does....BUT ONLI TIME WILL TELL......

went play lan today.....aft tt shop ard parkway awhile....long time nv been there liao...den go collect the cake 4 mother's day.....den went home....

nth much to say today i guess.....jus tt jus nw went blog hopping.....saw a lotta postings bout their life all those....shall nt further elab....

on the other side of things....gg out to cele mother's day tml.....tink will b goin to crystal jade bahs....haven been there in like wat....4 yrs already?haha....will b gg to coffeeshop later wif my dad to watch fa cup finals later....haha.....

woooOO!!!!came back frm dinner @ clementi....shall talk bout tt later....

today lesson hah.....as usual.....slpy.....den slack @ clubhouse....den went to basketball court to c DBT 2B21 n 2B22 havin a captain's ball match....whahaha....both classes si bei zai n on seh....den went 4 poly 50 training....wha jog ard sch 4 the 2nd time....den sprint 4 like hw many times of 200 m ard the track.....shack seh....den aft tt power training....woooOO!!!!......aft the rest left mi zhengye n arens waited 4 siewling to cum back....in the meantime....we ji siao ouyang's conve wif ling....den talk cock all the way sia....wooOO!!!.....den when ling came back....she n zhengye use those 'sticks' n play joust....lol.....den aft tt we went clementi....met the rest of the guys....den makan liao went home.....

hmmm.....today's poly 50 training....glad to hav a lotta ppl....but certainly hope to hav more ppl....kinda u can sae....nt enough....so yar...jus hope to hav more ppl.....den c DBT 2B21 n 2B22 so bonded kinda reminds mi of ppl frm other classes in my sec sch.....so bonded n together....envious sia....woooOO!!! can sae my class is bonded too la....but nt in tt sense la....onli study wise....tho sumtimes a joke here n a joke there is often la....but cant sae can compare to them....haiz.....when will i ever c tt day.....in the meantime.....i off to slp liao....slping.....woooOO!!!!

can sumbodi tell mi wats wrng wif mi....hav been feelin kinda low n down tis days....on the outside i may look n feel high....but deep down inside of mi....i no there's sumthin wrong wif mi.... sumthin deep down tt i cant explain....haiz....can sumbodi tell mi?

i rmb the quote tt i told my frens once....'if u nv giv mi the chance to try sumthin.....hw wld i no whether its worth it or nt?' i feel tt its quite true.....nw there's so many things tt i wanna try....frm takin a plane.....to bein a GL....to.....haiz....so many things in life tt i wanna do......but who is willin to giv mi the chance to do it? i guess nobody knows....but onli time will tell.....but den....mayb nt....i hav waited long enough....my time.....is up.....

update of the past 2 days....

friday....started sch late cos pract cancelled....haha....lesson went as per norm....den stayed awhile to cele jasmine's bday....den went to seow hong's house....suppose to go to nyjc wif him n eugene to watch a performance....den suddenly all cant...so decided to go on sat...slack @ his house a while....den went home....

saturday....basically play @ lan shop.....den seow hong called mi....sayin he cant make it....bz wif hw....sianz....kanna pang seh....so met eugene n his....erhemmm.....fren samantha....to go to the performance....quite alrite la...funny....but atmosphere quite quiet tho....hmmm....den met fatein...who is the backstage crew 4 tt performance...haha....den aft tt went home....

hmmm....nw c-ing the elections results....whahaha.....tho im nt tt politically inclined...but its exciting to c the guy announcing the results....haha....

had been watching youtube lately....watching spongebob n HARD GAY tho.....fooooo!!.....super duper funny sia he....altho he is ermm....haha..

so tired lately...cant seem to pull myself out of my bed....yest woke up n on my way to sch slept thruout....den the thermody lecture....sick thruout....kp havin flu....havin an empty mind....den as the days go by....my body is weakening mi...felt veri tired....went home even worse....wanted to to thermody tutorial....but instantly fell aslp....woke up bout 11+ wanted to watch my show....but fell aslp again....den nw here i am....waking up all sore n pain....n nt feelin well....

argh....hope i can survive today....still gt make up lesson @ 3....sianz...

went 4 the sentosa outing today....quite a lot la...bout 20....but the yr 1 almost all is kaze ppl....met n left harborfront stn @ 11....reached bout 12 cos its quite packed....expected lotta ppl to go to sentosa....haha....den when we gt there....do all sorts of stuff....suntanning....play frisbie... play soccer....volleyball....went into the water....ya i tink tts bout all....play until 4....den we keep saying go bathe go bathe....sae bout half an hour...den left....haha....went bathe...jus in time cos aft we bathe....den started to hav a thunderstorm...the lightning is nice....haha....went harborfront wif sum of the ppl 1st....den ate @ pastamania den went home wif fiona n qing zhen....

haiz....tml gt soon again aft a long wkend....dunno....feel like end of holiday den start of sch....hope i wont tire out.....